I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
