I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
