I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
