You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
