I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
