Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
