the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
