So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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