3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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