hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
