she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
