Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
