who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
