margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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