I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
