I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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