Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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