We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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