it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
