I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
