did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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