he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
