wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
