she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
