office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
