do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize