I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
