ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
