I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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