Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
