with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
