If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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