Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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