Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
