At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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