can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
