Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
