he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
