ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
