I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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