So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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