I wish I could punch you in the face.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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