Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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