Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He? As in you personified your dick?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
