i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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