The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
