My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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