Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im holly from the hills drunk
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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