My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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