I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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