they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
