Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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