he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's never too late to be topless.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
