Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
