I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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