I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
