My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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