# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
