And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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