she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize