is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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