so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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