i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize