Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
