Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize