Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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