Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
