They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
