I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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