I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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