I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
