Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
