I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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