But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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