You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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